I remember when he said this to me…and more.
Though I may come off cold at first, I will not give up. I want you, and I sure as hell know you want me too. I know how much we care about each other. This is not the last of us. Hope is blind, but I will hope anyway. I can’t give up on someone I want so badly because this isn’t the right time.
It feels nice to have something that no one but myself knows about. I’ll gladly give it out to people I don’t know in “real life.” I really hate that term, but just want something that I can keep away from everyone I know. Sounds silly, but I need something just for me.
Message me if you’d like the url!
I’m trying so hard to not be annoyed by your inconsistent texting, and our lack of talking because you’re always so busy. So far it’s not working out too well.
Hmm…maybe I shall.
His name is Nick. It’s typical of the guy to forget that right? Well guess who forgot? This girl. He didn’t mind though, which made me feel better about it. I’m just not the mushy type…though he’s starting to bring out that side of me more and more. I’m so happy to have him in my life. Even though we’ve only been officially dating for a month…it feels like I’ve known him forever. I can already be myself with him. It’s a nice feeling. I’m not one of those girls that goes on and on about their relationships and what not…but these past few months talking to him, getting to know him, and letting him be mine are a big deal. I wasn’t ready for a relationship, he respected it. I wasn’t able to admit I had feelings for him, he was more than happy to wait until I did. He doesn’t push anything sexual, and if I don’t want it, it doesn’t happen. He’s the perfect gentlemen. We moved at a pace comfortable for me, and we’re still doing so. It’s nice to know how much he truly cares. I don’t let anyone in, but there’s something about him that feels right, safe, warm. I like feeling this. I didn’t think I’d ever allow myself to do this again….but I’m slowly letting him break down my walls. Here’s to taking risks. If you wanna do it, do it. Don’t regret, don’t look back, just take a chance. You never do know what might happen.
I just want everything to be okay again. I hate fighting with you. It feels like there’s a weight at the bottom of my stomach, pulling me down; sucking happiness out of me. It’s numbed during the day, but when I’m left alone to my thoughts at night, it rears it’s ugly head. I’m still hurt. I’m still angry. I’m confused, scared, worried. I just want to talk to you, but I’m stubborn. I don’t want to let you get the best of me, when right now, I don’t feel like you deserve it. Fighting with people you’re super close to is a horrible feeling. They know you so well that they know exactly what to say to hurt you; to tear you into pieces. But like I said, I just want everything to be okay. So here I am, left alone to another night where it feels like my thoughts are eating me alive.
